Taking Stock

Posted on April 8, 2015

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Making: Lots of mental lists to prepare for Iceland next week
Drinking: Dirty Dr. Pepper, extra dirty. After a week in Provo during which we went to Sodalicious three times, I am officially addicted. It’s probably a good thing that I don’t live in Utah.
Reading: In the middle of four books at the same time as usual, also Tavi’s Editor’s Letter, esp this part…

BE YOUR OWN GRANDMA. This is when I get hung up on or victimize myself over a situation that is ultimately catty and temporary, e.g., an acquaintance going on about a stupid pop culture thing I get deeply invested in and pissed off about because THEIR OPINION IS WRONG! Then I imagine me in my old age being like, “Why did you waste so much time on such fools? Wish that convo about ‘Anaconda’ wasn’t one of my five remaining memories rn!!!” Or I imagine my actual 97-year-old grandma being like, “You want a #TBT? I’LL give you a #tbt! The GREAT DEPRESSION!” And then I zap catty thoughts from my brain as soon as they creep in

Wanting: To nail down our apartment for Spokane next year
Watching: The Theory of Everything
Listening: to Courtney Barnett, especially Avant Gardener
Eating: scrambled eggs for breakfast every morning because Julian and I love splitting them, and a crazy amount of roasted cauliflower ever since I discovered that it is as addicting as chips when you roast it with olive oil and indian spices.
Smelling: Rain
Wishing: My house would pack itself, weeding out the things we shouldn’t take and selling whatever possible as it goes of course.
Enjoying: Julian’s new walking skills. Watching him toddle drunkenly all over with his arms at chin level-always-is pretty adorable.
Loving: The messages from general conference this year and the chance to study them again soon because someone cute and small was distracting us during a large portion of the talks.

Hoping: Hoping hoping hoping that Julian’s passport comes in the mail before this Friday or else we are driving to Buffalo where they can do them same day for a crazy price on top of the expedited fee we already paid. For some reason, we didn’t realize until two weeks ago that babies do, in fact, need passports to fly out of the country.

Needing: Julian to stop throwing everything in the toilet. Stat. So far he tossed his cousin’s toy, my grandma’s lotions, a ball (between ted’s legs while he was peeing haha), Ted’s aunt and uncle’s two tv remotes (cringe), and his Thomas the Tank Engine train into the toilet.
Feeling: Proud of finally beating Ted’s March Madness bracket this year.
Noticing: All the things about Rochester I’m going to miss. One example-there is an amazing chef in our ward and he teaches a cooking class every two months or so and last night was the last class I’ll be able to attend.

Wishing: Ted a very happy anniversary! Four years! We are sort of counting our Iceland trip as our big anniversary/graduation celebration but it’s still exciting to remember that beautiful snowy day four years ago and how far we’ve come since then.

My sister is married!

Posted on April 6, 2015

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We just got back home from a week in Utah where we were able to celebrate with Emily and Joey as they got married. You can just tell when you are around those two that they make each other so happy and I am so thrilled that my sister found the perfect guy for her. It makes me all excited for going on trips together with all our kids someday. Her dress was amazing! My mom made it, of course, and planned a beautiful reception with a delicious taco bar. Joey and his family and friends did lots of live music at the reception which was a highlight, especially when he sang Sunshine on Leith by The Proclaimers to Emily.

At our wedding dinner I asked Emily to read a poem and she chose Shakespeare sonnet 116 which I loved since high school. I was honored when Emily asked me to do the same at their dinner and this is the poem that I picked.

Coming Home
by Mary Oliver

When we’re driving, in the dark,
on the long road
to Provincetown, which lies empty
for miles, when we’re weary,
when the buildings
and the scrub pines lose
their familiar look,
I imagine us rising
from the speeding car,
I imagine us seeing
everything from another place — the top
of one of the pale dunes
or the deep and nameless
fields of the sea —
and what we see is the world
that cannot cherish us
but which we cherish,
and what we see is our life
moving like that,
along the dark edges
of everything — the headlights
like lanterns
sweeping the blackness —
believing in a thousand
fragile and unprovable things,
looking out for sorrow,
slowing down for happiness,
making all the right turns
right down to the thumping
barriers to the sea,
the swirling waves,
the narrow streets, the houses,
the past, the future,
the doorway that belongs
to you and me.

…and the runners up…

Litany
by Billy Collins

“You are the bread and the knife,
The crystal goblet and the wine . . .”
Jacques Crickillon

You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass
and the burning wheel of the
sun.
You are the white apron of the baker
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.

However, you are not the wind in the orchard,
the plums on the counter,
or the house of cards.
And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.
There is just no way you are the pine-scented air.

It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,
maybe even the pigeon on the general’s head,
but you are not even close
to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.

And a quick look in the mirror will show
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.

It might interest you to know,
speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,
that I am the sound of rain on the roof.

I also happen to be the shooting star,
the evening paper blowing down an alley,
and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.

I am also the moon in the trees
and the blind woman’s tea cup.
But don’t worry, I am not the bread and the knife.
You are still the bread and the knife.
You will always be the bread and the knife,
not to mention the crystal goblet and—somehow—the wine.

Pathways
by Rainer Maria Rilke

Understand, I’ll slip quietly
away from the noisy crowd
when I see the pale
stars rising, blooming, over the oaks.

I’ll pursue solitary pathways
through the pale twilit meadows,
with only this one dream:
You come too.

Habitation
by Margaret Atwood

Marriage is not
a house, or even a tent

it is before that, and colder:

the edge of the forest, the edge
of the desert
         the unpainted stairs
at the back, where we squat
outdoors, eating popcorn
the edge of the receding glacier
where painfully and with wonder
at having survived even
this far

we are learning to make fire.

A snowy walk

Posted on March 8, 2015

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Julian and I bundled up today and went out for a walk around the neighborhood while Ted was doing his ride-along ambulance shift for his Emergency Medicine rotation. I put Julian in the Ergo because I learned the hard way last spring that snow and strollers don’t mix. We had a great time, enjoying a little sunshine, stomping over the snow mounded at the end of each block and feeling mighty grateful for my snug warm winter boots I finally bought this year, stopping to see every dog we passed, after which Julian would make his “woof woof” sound to me for a few blocks. It’s kind of crazy to think that this could be our last winter here. No more snow piles taller than me lining all the streets. But then again, maybe we’ll move to Alaska.

I Get The News I Need In The Weather Report

Posted on February 26, 2015

I have gotten a little bit obsessive about checking the weather lately. IMG_0990

I feel guilty every time I drag Julian out into the subzero temperatures. It is crazy cold and from the weather forecast it’s not getting warmer anytime soon. But since our weather is kind of discouraging, I like to check what it’s like in a few other places. One day I was trying to check the weather in Boise and I typed wrong, and so…

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…Now every time I check the weather, I get to see how things are in Boisar, India. The weather is never something normal. Its always something like smoke or haze or mist.

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Here’s the weather from the other day in one of the places where we might end up after medical school. Last night we officially submitted our lists of the fifteen preliminary programs for next year and the twelve places we could potentially end up in 2016 for dermatology.

Dream Come True

Posted on February 15, 2015

This morning I woke up to feed Julian at 530 and saw that I had an email that church was cancelled today. It was weird to have a whole Sunday without church but cozy and pretty exciting – I have never had a snow day from church before. But that part isn’t the dream come true part. This is… Iceland-Tourist-Map via We’re going to Iceland!!!!!!! I can’t remember exactly when I first started wanting to go to Iceland, but it has been at least a few years since I read about somebody’s trip around the island and became fascinated with seeing the cliffs, volcanoes, wildlife, waterfalls, and especially hot springs for myself. I got really lucky, and after Ted’s cousin went there last year and shared lots of amazing pictures, Ted wanted to go too. We have a break between Ted finishing school and graduation, so we decided to go for it. So we are in the middle of lots of planning right now, working on figuring out how to make such an adventurous trip work with a 15 month old. It might not be exactly like I had imagined all those years ago, but looking at hostels and routes is making me so excited to be there with my little family. This video is making me feel like I can’t even believe this is my real life. https://vimeo.com/76808146

Helpful?

Posted on February 6, 2015

The other night, Ted and I were lying in bed going over all the things we had to do the next day and I was getting a little frustrated about the fact that we only have one car. I said something like “Man we need another car,” and right away my phone chirped up with “I have found several car dealerships in your area.” It was creepy and hilarious all at once and totally broke the tension.  But it makes me wonder… How much of the time is my phone listening in on my conversations?

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